Piece Of String
The Worlds Most Pointless Race - II.
Bigger, Better, Drier* and almost certainly a different length.
APPLICATIONS ARE NOW OPEN FOR 2013. MAKE SURE THAT YOU READ THE ENTIRE PAGE BEFORE CLICKING ON THE ENTER HERE BUTTON.*This is a Nick Clegg promise
Piece of String 2013
You may have been unfortunate to have heard of a race last year that pitted some of the finest runners against the most fearsome of adversaries, their own brains. The heavens opened as if to pour further misery on 10 pioneering runners taking on this pointless task.
There was laughter and tears, joy and sadness, hope and fear, immense satisfaction and bitter disappointment.
Only two people finished last year. Perhaps you want to follow in their footsteps? This is unlikely as we have changed the course.
Well the race last year was so catastrophically pointless that we decided to repeat the exercise again this year. There seems to be a growing market in futility.
So here is what you need to do.
- Read all of the FAQ's below.
- Don't take any time off sick at work between now and November, just in case.
- Clear it with your other half.
- Find a photo of you looking at your most miserable. it does not have to be a running one. It could be any situation, like a hospital visit or a wedding.
- Click on the Register Button
- Send us the photo with a paragraph explaining why you should be able to run in the Piece of String race.
- Start growing a beard (50% of the finishers last year had a big beard. 100% at least had big sideburns)
- Wait patiently for our response.
- If you are accepted you will need to mail us your £20 entry fee. (last year it was £1.37 and the distance was around 115 miles. Read into that what you will).
What pace should I start out at?
- Any pace you like, it will be wrong anyway
Are you going to give us a ball park distance at least?
- Well the clue is in the entry fee. We don’t want you to feel short changed if it’s only 10k. Nor do we want you to get upset with us if you need to take the next week off work.
What is the course?
- The course will be various loops around Streatley where you’ll give given a new “route” every time you arrive at HQ. HQ is the Morrell Rooms, Church Lane, Streatley, Brekshire, RG8 9HT. These routes will vary from x miles to xx miles. You keep running these routes until the race director puts his hand on your shoulder and says “congratulations, you have finished”
Will you make it up as you go along?
- No. The race distance will definitely be known to the two race directors before the race starts. No one else will know, no marshalls, no family members and not even Rupert Murdoch.
- At the start of the race there will be 5 possible race configurations in envelopes. A lucky runner (maybe the first to sign up) will pick one of these envelopes and that will be the race.
Can you give us a clue?
Will there be cut-offs?
- Yes there will but like the race we won’t know what they are until the day arrives. We don’t expect people to run the trails like Ian Sharman but neither do we want people ambling around at 2mph. You will be informed along the way how “close” you are to cut-offs.
How often will there be aid stations?
- These will be fairly regularly, approx every 10k to 100 miles.
Will there be drop bags/food etc?
Am I allowed a crew/ pacers?
- No. This will make things less miserable.
Does this contravene some sort of human rights legislation or Geneva protocol?
- Probably. If there are any issues with this year we’ll hold the next race at Guantanamo Bay.
Does this count towards my 100 marathon club entry?
- If you have to ask this, you need not apply.
Here are some pictures of the race organisers displaying levels of misery that would be considered 'average':
James Adams: At least here he knows where the end is - even if it is a month and 1500 miles away.
James Elson: 122 miles into Badwater his entire crotch blistered and weeping from 32 hours of chaffing. Just an uphill half marathon or 7 and a half hours to go.
Centurion Running is sponsored by:
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